


Colour Blind

by KingMythos



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Child Neglect, Coming Out, Gen, Homophobia, Insomnia, Not Shipping + Not Maxvid, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 12:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12983796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingMythos/pseuds/KingMythos
Summary: A character study of David. Bandanas, pink teddy bears, guitar playing, and nightmares await.





	1. Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Alright first of all, this fic is FULL of homophobic slurs and references and everything you can imagine. Please take care of yourself and don't read if you're sensitive to this. It also contains child abuse and neglect, though nothing violent or heavily detailed.  
> Secondly, this story contains a song that David has written, which is not a reference to any actual songs, it's just something I made up lyrics to, so don't worry if you feel out of the loop, you can just imagine any melody you want.  
> Thirdly, this story is extremely dialogue and internal-thoughts heavy, and far less descriptive of environment or action-packed. It's very emotion-based and the characters are almost always in some kind of state of shock or concern. It's fantastic.  
> Finally, I haven't actually read this the whole way through yet, so please forgive any mistakes at first, they will be fixed. That's about it, enjoy!

Green eyes gleamed at the burly man he sat across from, grin wide and eager, bouncing up and down in his seat. The man across from him narrowed his eyes, squinting thoughtfully at the slip of paper he held, turning it over and then back again. Fiddling with the ends, he let out a sigh and looked up.  
“Er, David, most of this resume is just your blurb.”  
“That’s correct!”  
“But, well…” the man turned the resume over again, as though perhaps an imaginary double side would have apparated on the back, but he had no such luck. “Do you have any previous experience? References? Education?”  
“Well, I left high school at sixteen.”  
“Right. How old are you, now?”  
“Sixteen!” The man across from David gaped in astounded bewilderment, though David’s grin remained firmly in place, seemingly not understanding how absurd the interview was. “I dropped out a few weeks ago to work here, sir! I’ve always loved this camp, ever since I was a kid and under your care!”  
“David… I admire your dedication, but…”  
“Oh, I’m dedicated, Mr. Campbell! I pretty much came straight here after mum kicked me out, and I’ve got no savings or anywhere to stay, so I thought there’s no better time than now! It’s like this job was calling to me.” Mr. Campbell let out a heavy sigh and rubbed at his brow, bemused at David’s unhindered enthusiasm. Eyes trailing back to the resume, Campbell scanned the blurb, which was full of exclamation marks and information about David’s hobbies and wilderness skills.  
“I remember how much you loved our activities, Davey, and you couldn’t get enough of nature…” Campbell’s brain was burning with attempts to remember what David was like as a kid - it was so incredibly long ago, at least five years, and Campbell didn’t have the time or energy to remember his current camper’s names, let alone the campers of that long ago. If not a long time in general, it certainly is a long time for finances, with money coming in from parents and quickly being spent on illegal and exotic big cats to be sold for profit. Campbell almost shed a tear, wondering where that money was now, all grown up and crumpled and laced with cocaine.  
Campbell looked back to David, who sat with sparkling emerald eyes, features just as youthful as Campbell could vaguely remember; however, his face was longer and leaner, the baby fat shed from a few years of ongoing puberty, limbs gangly and hair thicker and a slight ghosting of prickly facial hair along the young man’s jaw. Campbell wondered how a sixteen year old could be so eager and hopeful, as by that point in most teenager’s lives, school had broken them down and destroyed their trust in others, and only when they were around eighteen they would begin to pick up the bricks from their crumbling psyche. Campbell cleared his throat. “You seem to be very passionate about camping, but are you good with children?” David seemed to freeze up, suddenly unsure of himself and having to process the question.  
“Well, I don’t really know many children. I think I could be good with them, I guess some could call _me_ childish.” David scratched the back of his neck bashfully. Campbell tilted his head, brow creased.  
“Davey, well, you’re practically still a kid yourself. Children are pretty rough sometimes, I don’t really know if you’d be up for it.” David’s head snapped up, eyes frantic.  
“Oh, no sir! I can be good, I promise, I’ll do a lot of research and I’ll follow your instructions and I’ll talk to them and I’ll take them kayaking and start a campfire and sing songs and give them love and--” David began to blubber and Campbell forced himself not to put his head on his desk, instead sighing and slapping David a few times on the shoulder.  
“Look, I can tell you’d make a passionate counsellor, which is better than we currently have. I don’t think we’ll ever find someone who cares as much as you again. I guess there’s not much harm in taking you on, especially as the minimum wage for kids is much lower.” The last part was said under Campbell’s breath, which was either low enough for David not to hear, or David simply didn’t care, as he instantly jumped out of his chair to give Campbell a tight hug. Campbell took a step or two backwards at the sudden weight of David, but the skinny arms clinging to his chest didn’t deter his massive form too much.  
“Thank you so much sir! I promise I’ll do you proud and work hard every day and I’ll never, ever leave!” Campbell reached one hand around and awkwardly slapped David between the shoulder blades.  
“Alright, you’re hired!” Half-sincere and half-hesitant, Campbell spoke the sentence, David responding by squeezing him tighter and letting out a happy whining noise. _What am I getting myself into?_


	2. Gwen

Shirt covered in lines of mustard and ketchup, balancing on one foot while a small child clung on to the other for dear life, a tray of buns in one hand and a spatula in the other, David hopped and wobbled and attempted to calm down the screaming children who surrounded him, apparently engaged in some kind of condiment war. Bouncing backwards and burning his elbow on a barbeque grill, David let out a shriek and tried to gently shake the kid off of his leg, but she let out a barbaric war cry and remained clinging. A car crawled across the gravel and stopped several metres away, the door cracking open and a girl stepping out without David even noticing.  
“Now kids, settle down, the patties are starting to burn!” Eyes wide, she surveyed the chaos that was unfolding outside a large hall and dodged a squirt of mustard aimed in her general direction. Tucking an envelope firmly in her pocket, she gingerly made her way across the gravel and towards the flustered man.  
“Hello?” She called, in a state of concerned shock. David’s head whipped towards her, flinching and burning his arm again, letting out another cry. She then rushed towards him and took the tray from his hand, placing it on the ground, and then gently dislodged the wild girl from his ankle. She skipped off and tackled one of the boys holding a ketchup bottle. “What the hell is going on?!”  
“Ahh-- thank you!” David stood on both legs and ran a hand through his mussed hair, checking his other arm which oozed with a blistering burn. “Sorry, just, the kids got a little rowdy while I was trying to serve them burgers, and here we are!”  
“Is it just you here?” The woman took David’s arm in her hands and led him to a faucet she spied that was built into the wall of the large building, turning it on and letting the cold water splash over David’s burn. David let out a hiss in response, whimpering with tears springing into his eyes.  
“Y-Yeah, I’m the only counselor at the moment. Um, may I ask who you are?”  
“Oh, sorry, my name is Gwen. I’m here to apply for a job as a counselor.” David looked up at her with large eyes which sparkled with curiosity and excitement. Gwen felt unnerved and more than a little confused.  
“Well hello, Gwen! Sorry we had to meet on such chaotic terms, they’re not like this all the time! I’m David, I’ve been working here for two years. I pretty much run the place at the moment!” David extended his good arm, before realising he still held the spatula and stared at it, unsure what to do. Gwen stared back at him and silently shook the spatula up and down. “Uh, well, I’d love to interview you, but I also need to get these kids under control. Fancy helping me get them into the mess hall?” David grinned sheepishly as Gwen turned off the faucet.  
“Yeah, sure.”  
“Okay campers!” David called, which produced practically no result, only one kid sparing him the slightest glance. “Considering the patties are completely burnt, you guys will be having… buns with ketchup on them for lunch!” Gwen squinted at the strange man who was addressing the kids, who all responded with disappointed groans, and was completely unsure whether he was being sarcastic or genuine. If she’d said something like that, it would have _certainly_ been sarcastic, but this guy seemed to be cluelessly optimistic. She’d never met someone like that before. Watching as David somehow managed to lead the campers into the mess hall, many of the kids swiped up a bun from the tray and began to gnaw on them like rabid rats.  
Gwen stood outside still in a state of shock, listening to David’s muffled voice from the inside. For what the warzone had been a minute ago, those kids were surprisingly cooperative, especially for somebody so… nice. Gwen had come to apply expecting little shits, and she’d rationalized that if she had to deal with kids, she could just yell at them until she got her way. It always worked on her cousins, anyway. It caught her completely off guard that David was being completely ignored by those kids, yet he was able to control them despite not yelling at them. _What kind of camp is this?_  
“Gwen! Hi, sorry about that!” David announced, breaking her train of thought as he exited the mess hall and shut the doors, the sounds of crashing plates and screaming kids instantly starting up as soon as he’d left the room. Grinning sheepishly again, he took her by the wrist and led her to what looked like some log cabins or offices or something of the like. “Usually we’re a little more calm around here, but you know how kids are!”  
“How did you not yell at them?” Gwen blurted, regretting it instantly, hoping that hadn’t impacted her chances of landing a job. David just chuckled.  
“Well, kids don’t really respond to yelling. They see it as a challenge, and they are determined to win! I also don’t like to yell at people, and troubled kids usually get enough of that already. I think showing kindness is far more productive.” David shut the door behind them, and Gwen looked around the quaint little room, looking half like an office and half like a cabin, with a desk flooded with papers and walls covered with notices and photos, but also a bed on the other side of the room and clothes strewn everywhere. “Excuse the mess, I’m quite busy here you see, so an extra pair of hands would certainly help! I do wonder, though, how do you know about this place? Mr. Campbell never puts ads out anymore, and I haven’t heard from him in a few months.” Gwen squinted at the unfamiliar name, but chose not to ask about it.  
“One of your kids’ parents are friends with mine, they said that a camp with one counselor probably _has_ to be hiring. Ever since I graduated from college I’ve been searching for a job, but it’s basically impossible.”  
“Wow, you went to college?” David asked in an impressed and mystified tone.  
“Uh, yeah?” Gwen said, a little embarrassed. David sat in the chair by his desk, then motioned for her to sit on the edge of his bed across from him. “Double majored in Liberal Arts and psychology.”  
“Wow, that’s fantastic, Gwen! What a successful person you are!” Gwen had had a few interviews in her lifetime, but they had never involved sitting on a bed with a man no older than her leaning forwards with gleaming eyes and a massive grin, apparently captivated by her words. Gwen was taken aback by what he was saying. He’s the first person to ever respond like that. He’s the first person to ever call her ‘successful’.  
“I-- thank you? Um, I have my resume…” She reached into her back pocket and unfolded the crumpled envelope, slipping the resume out and handing it to David’s eager grip. David unfolded it and looked through it with a never-dulling expression.  
“You like to write? That’s great!” David handed the resume back to her, not at all scrutinising or asking about any past jobs or asking her where her references were. He seemed like he was actually satisfied with her bullshit little slip of crap that she couldn’t ever seem to get right. “Do you know much about the outdoors?” Gwen blanched. Shit, she hadn’t even considered that.  
“Erm… Not really…”  
“Wonderful!” Gwen wondered how excited this dude could even get, and was almost certain now that he was just yanking her chain and at any second would tell her to piss off. However, his gleaming eyes never stopped twinkling. “I’d love to have an apprentice, and I appreciate your honesty. I think with some training you could be a great counselor! You’re hired!”  
“Wait-- really? Don’t you wanna think about it or not call me back or--”  
“Why would I do that? You seem like a good fit! We’re gonna have so much fun!” Gwen stared at his joyful expression as he grabbed her wrist in his hand, excitedly tugging on it. Not knowing how to respond, and feeling completely caught off guard, Gwen’s eyes had already welled up before she could stop it. Tears began quickly streaming down her cheeks, and for the first time all day, David’s expression dropped into extreme concern.  
“Oh no, Gwen, why are you sad? Did I say something to upset you?”  
“N-No y-you g-gh hgghjskg dgddsg f,” Gwen’s sentence divulged into incoherent spluttering, her face flushed from embarrassment, and David sat across from her in a state of cluelessness and upset. He gingerly reached a hand up to her shoulder to rub it, and Gwen launched herself at him, wrapping around him in a hug. David let out an ‘oof’ and then reciprocated, hugging her back, even though he was very confused.  
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Gwen repeated into his shoulder. “Never h-had job before-- parents-- college use-useless-- no-no money…”  
“Oh, Gwen,” David said sympathetically, rubbing her back in a reassuring manner. “It’s okay, I get it.” Gwen let out a garbled noise that sounded something like ‘you do?’ “Yeah, I never went to college or anything, but Camp Campbell was my haven - it saved me. I think it can help you too.” Gwen nodded into his shoulder, cheeks still wet, and let out a shuddering sigh. “Now, dry those eyes. If you keep crying I’m gonna start crying too.”


	3. Heart to Heart

It was several weeks after Gwen was hired that she began to realise what a horrible decision she’d made - alas, she would not even consider taking the risk of quitting, instead gritting her teeth and baring it every time the rowdy children tugged her hair or raided her cabin supplies. By this point she had pretty much moved in, having very little luggage in the first place, merely some clothing, books, bathroom utensils, gadgets, and questionable magazines that she’d hoped to smuggle in. David helped her with her suitcases, chattering happily the entire way into the cabin, setting them down on her makeshift mattress that had been borrowed from David’s bed, who had previously had the luxury of two mattresses. David continued the fairly one-sided chat as he unzipped Gwen’s suitcase, happy to help her unpack her clothing, when the realisation hit Gwen and she quickly slapped his hands away, slamming the suitcase shut with wide eyes and a heated face. David flinched backwards with surprise.   
“What’s wrong, Gwen?”  
“Sorry-- I have-- things!”  
“Things?” _Think, Gwen, think!_  
“Girl things!”  
“Gwen,” David laughed softly. “I’m not uncomfortable with that sort of stuff, we have a lot of girls come through here who are starting to deal with… awkward times.” Before Gwen could stop him, David flung open the suitcase and rummaged through, revealing her magazines under a pile of clothes. He froze, and Gwen could physically see the blush spread across his cheeks and down his neck.   
It took her several hours to convince him that he didn’t need to keep apologising.   
Now, a few weeks later, she was settled in quite well and her bed frame had finally arrived. All her clothes were put away, some posters on the walls and her porn magazines carefully hidden under her mattress. The room was split into two sides as the camp was too cheap for two separate cabins, with David occupying the other half with a bed and a desk, photos and memories and papers strewn about, still as messy as the day she’d met him. At first Gwen felt a little self-conscious, sharing a bedroom with any man was enough to put a girl a bit on edge, but after a few nights of knowing David she’d become more comfortable with the concept. A few weeks after knowing him, and Gwen was sure he barely even knew what sex was. Naturally, as someone who had grown up surrounded by hypersexual and creepy men, she was incredibly curious; not just about David’s sex life, but about how the hell he managed to stay so positive in general.  
After a particularly pressing day which involved a very wayward painting activity which resulted in inky black splotches on Gwen’s shirt that would certainly stain, her and David trudged tiredly back to their cabin, flinging open the door and doing paper-scissors-rock to determine who got the first shower. Gwen lost, and had to deal with David’s loud singing of feminine pop music, and a cold shower after David used up all the hot water. Returning with dripping hair and slightly damp clothing because the towels in this place barely absorbed anything, Gwen flung herself down onto itchy sheets and heaved out a sigh. Rolling on her side, she opened an eye and peered across the room at David, who was actually folding his clothes for once, wearing only gray boxers and a white shirt, seemingly ready for bed.   
“You go to sleep early,” Gwen commented, already cringing at the statement. David turned to her, caught a little off-guard by her voice.   
“I guess I have to.” He rubbed the back of his head and huffed out a laugh that sounded insincere. Gwen sat up, eyes narrowing while processing thought.   
“Why’s that?”   
“Oh, uh.” David’s gaze dropped to the floor, hesitating before answering the question. “I have some trouble sleeping, is all.”  
“Huh,” Gwen responded, looking him up and down, before mentally slapping herself when David self-consciously slipped into bed and pulled up his sheet. “Sorry. I mean. I guess I don’t really see you as the type to have trouble sleeping.” David smiled tiredly in response.   
“Well, insomnia doesn’t really play favourites.”  
“So,” Gwen began, now swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and leaning forward, biting the inside of her cheek as she wondered how best to go about an actual conversation with David that wasn’t about camping or kids. “How long have you had insomnia?”  
“Oh, as long as I can remember, I guess.” Gwen disliked the way David rubbed his arm, as he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it, and cursed herself for being so blunt in conversations. However, she couldn’t help but feel the need to pry.   
“How much sleep do you usually get?”  
“Uh, a few hours if I’m lucky. It’s not a big deal.”  
“Oh, man, that sucks. I’m sorry.”  
“It’s not a big deal,” David repeated. They feel silent for a few moments.   
“Can I…” Gwen slipped off her bed and crossed the room, tentatively sitting on the edge of David’s bed and turning her body to face him. “Can I ask you some stuff?”  
“Whatever you’d like,” David responded, though looked nervous and even a little cautious. _Interesting_ , Gwen thought, _it’s almost as though David has something to hide. A guy as positive as him must have some kind of weird secret, right?_  
“I mean, like, not to be weird, it’s just that I don’t really know much about you, and I was just wondering… what do you do when the summer is over?” Almost instantaneously David perked up, which caught Gwen by surprise.   
“Well, I do all sorts of things while I wait to come back to Camp Campbell! I volunteer a lot for nature conservation groups, picking up litter, helping rescue animals, working at homeless shelters…” Gwen watched David tick off the tasks in a state of awe. _Okay, someone this perfect is certainly hiding something. He’s got to be a serial killer, or someone who scams people out of bitcoin._ “I try to get casual jobs wherever I can, but money has always been tight for me. Luckily, I don’t need much money to be happy, considering I live in the woods!”  
“What?!” Gwen exclaimed, and David nodded enthusiastically.  
“That’s right, I’ve been living in a cabin for years now. I grow vegetables and herbs and occasionally I catch fish, though I prefer not to harm the wildlife. I do all sorts of things, I guess I’m always busy.” _Lives in a remote cabin in the woods? Definitely a serial killer._  
“So… you live alone?”  
“Yep! I have since I left home when I was sixteen.”  
“You what?” David simply nodded and didn’t elaborate, adding to Gwen’s suspicions about the overly happy man in front of her. “Are you. Like. A serial killer?”   
“Gwen!” David exclaimed, before covering his mouth and giggling. “Golly, I can see how it sounds like that!” David’s reaction sent a wave of relief through Gwen, as it seemed genuine, and come to think of it, it was a pretty ridiculous thing to think about. The skinny guy in front of her that didn’t reach past her height probably couldn’t even lift one of the children up, there’s no way he could take a person down. Laughing along with him, the exchange had brought a different question to her mind.  
“You live alone then, but do you… y’know… have a girlfriend?” Gwen couldn’t lie, the pretty blush that rose to his pale cheeks made asking the question worth it - that is until he looked away, the happy gleam in his eyes extinguished.   
“Er… No,” David responded, fiddling with a thread on his shirt, and Gwen decided not to press the issue. Enough digging had been done for today, it seemed. However, as she went to stand, David caught her wrist. “Wait! You haven’t told me anything about yourself yet.”   
“Um, well,” Gwen sputtered, looking at David’s eager expression, taken aback by how quickly the man seemed to go through emotions. Slowly, she sat back down, and David removed his grip. “You know I went to college and everything, but… I guess I can say I like to read as well as write, and I watch a lot of TV.” Gwen felt a little self conscious as she began her ramblings about her boring self, while David lived in the woods and grew herbs and caught fish all by himself. Taking note of the interested sparkle in his eyes, she continued. “I’m a pretty boring person, I guess I have some problems with anxiety and my parents kinda suck.” She cringed as she spoke, already breaking into her personal issues that nobody cared about and only inconvenienced others. Hesitantly, she caught David’s eye, surprised to see him watching her with a concerned and deeply interest expression. “I guess I got kicked out and with college and everything, I’ve had a lot of close brushes with homelessness.”  
“Gwen,” David said softly, voice laced with care and earnest. “I’m so sorry about all of that. I understand, really, I do. I was kicked out too.”   
“You were? What kind of idiotic parents would kick out someone like you? You’re like a parent’s wet dream!” Gwen realised she’d just quoted The Breakfast Club, but David didn’t seem to catch the reference, so she continued. “All positive and hard-working and responsible!”   
“Thanks Gwen, really, but it’s not all what it seems,” David replied quietly, eyes fixed on the duvet as he considered how to respond. It seemed as though he was considering whether to tell her something personal, and as someone who loved to hear other’s deepest secrets, she was all ears. “I… Well… Let’s just say I had a few disagreements with her-- them.” Something in the way David said it, so dejected and upset in his recallings, led Gwen to hold off any more probing questions, for good this time. Realising she was hindering David from any possible sleep, she quickly stood.  
“You should probably get some sleep-- well, not probably, you should-- I mean, not that I’m forcing you to but it would be good I guess, you know--”  
“I know Gwen, thanks.” David smiled at her, eyes entirely sincere, and she smiled briefly back, feeling more than a little awkward as she quickly crossed the room and shuffled into bed. “Goodnight, Gwen.”  
“Night, David.” She fumbled for the lamp and clicked it off.


	4. Max

Gwen could tell that David had never dealt with a kid this problematic before, and secretly she relished in the fact that he was completely beside himself. His positivity got pretty nauseating after a while, and this swearing, feisty, rebellious handful of a child was certainly knocking David down a few pegs. Having met the kid, named Max, on the first day back of her second year as a counsellor, Gwen had barely gotten a chance to say hello to David before she was having to chase after a mystery child who was attempting to book it out of the campsite. Reaching the short kid with untamed black hair rather quickly, she managed to wrangle him to the ground until his flailing and colourful profanity exhausted him. Soon after, David caught up behind them, huffing and seemingly in some kind of traumatised state. Pulling the little shit up by his arm, she led the frustrated kid back to the campsite, telling him off the entire time. David seemed too perplexed to stop Gwen from handling the situation in a way that he deemed ‘mean’.   
After the new arrivals had been given a tour, had pitched their tents, and were moving their items inside, Gwen and David joined Max in the counselor’s office, which he had been locked inside to avoid him escaping again. Sat on David’s bed with his arms folded to his chest, many of their possessions had been strewn across the floor, likely in a fit of rage. Neither of their sides looked too different than usual, however.   
“So, what are you gonna do?” Max said sarcastically before the counselors had a chance to address him. “Punish me? Call my parents? Send me home?”  
“Are you asking for it, you little f-”  
“Gwen, stand down, I can handle this.”  
“Oh, can you, shithead?” Max taunted. “I’ve known you for five minutes and I can already tell you’re a deluded overly optimistic manchild who only took this job because you can interact with kids better than you can with adults. Nothing you say is gonna work on me. I’ve been expelled from five schools because they can’t handle me. You two fuckwits will never be able to tame this bastard!” Satisfied with himself, Max kicked back on the bed and smirked up at David, who seemed bewildered, before pulling his act together. David sat on the bed next to Max, who flinched away with a cautious glint in his eye, and watched him with interest.   
“First of all, Max, that kind of language isn’t appropriate around here,” Max interrupted David with a scoff. “however I can tell there’s something more important here for me to address. I can tell you don’t want to be here, and whatever that reason is, I want you to know that I will personally do my best to make sure you have a good time here at Camp Campbell. We want you to have a positive experience here and I promise I will be able to find something for you to enjoy! We’ve got hundreds of different activities for you to explore, so would you give us a chance?” David asked tenderly, hopefully, making direct eye-contact with Max, who looked for a split second as though he were shocked before he quickly covered it with a neutral expression. A few moments passed.   
“Nah, this camp sucks cock. See you fuckers later, I have a tent to pitch.”  
Max brushed past the scandalized David and the equally astounded Gwen. They were silent as they gazed into the empty room, the sounds of Max’s light footsteps thudding into the distance. Gwen rubbed her eyes with her hands and closed her gaping jaw.  
“That kid has some balls.”

Max’s presence at Camp Campbell certainly created an extremely challenging experience for both counselors, be it rallying the other campers into anarchy, putting himself or other campers in danger, and subjecting David to constant verbal and physical abuse, Gwen could feel herself both incredibly impressed, but also at the end of her rope. Nerves frayed for the third time this week (and it was only a Monday), she watched David chase Max around the campsite in a desperate attempt to retrieve his yellow bandana, both parties yelling and out of breath.   
“Give it up David, just admit that you’re delusional and that the world fucking sucks!”  
“Language, Max!”   
Gwen scrubbed a hand down her face and let out one of her trademarked Long Suffering Sighs™, trudging over to the disastrous situation and picking Max up by the hoodie, yanking the bandana away from his grabby hands and tossing it in David’s direction. David dived for it, catching it before it could touch the muddy ground, and held it tightly to his chest, eyes large and alarmed.   
“Alright you little bastard, no desert for you. Go to bed early tonight.”  
“Fuck you, Gwen!”  
“Go!” She demanded, eyes stern and serious, and Max shrugged and stormed off, muttering ‘bitch’ under his breath. Gwen turned to David who was still recovering from the scenario.  
“Oh, thank you, Gwen,” He huffed. “If this had gotten damaged, I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself.” Gwen made a grunting sound in the back of her throat.  
“It’s just a bandana.” David didn’t respond, still cradling it close to him, seemingly lost in thought as he made his way to their cabin. Gwen watched after his slightly staggering form, wondering why the fuck a yellow bandana was so important to him, but knew it wasn’t something that David would feel comfortable talking about. Having spent at least one summer with him, Gwen had quickly learned that David’s personal life was to be kept personal, at least until he was able to trust her more. It was a funny thought, David not being able to trust people, but Gwen could tell that there were still some hard walls that David put up despite coming off as a open and welcoming guy. Gwen had learned to respect that after David had the courtesy of not prying into her personal life in a conversation, and decided that they were mutually allowed to keep things from each other. Living in the same small room as one another, it was the least she could do for privacy’s sake.   
“Hey, stop gawking at your boyfriend and piss off, your presence outside my tent is annoying.” Max’s voice had become something of a trigger to her, designed by some kind of evil scientist to be the perfect frequency to push every little button in her head. That, or the fact that it belonged to Max was enough to irritate her to no end. Either way, she ground her teeth together and turned to look at the little fucker, who stood outside his tent with his hands in his hoodie’s blue pockets.   
“He’s not my boyfriend, you shithead. Go to bed.”  
“Defensive, are we? Well, I wouldn’t get too attracted to him if I were you, considering he’s pretty obviously a faggot.”  
“Hey!” Gwen snarled, face heating in rage. “Don’t you fucking use that word!” Despite her anger, a little voice in Gwen’s head did consider Max’s words, and in a suspicious tone, she asked: “So, you think he’s gay, then?”  
“Anyone can see it from a mile away, that dude gargles on cock. No straight man is as positive as he is, and let’s face it, only fags wear their shorts _that_ high.”  
“Cut out the homophobic language you little fucker.” Max only smirked at her, adding to her exasperation. “Look, you have no right to speculate about his sexuality anyway, and if I catch you even mentioning it to him, you’re going to catch these hands. Got it?”  
“Alright, but don’t forget that you asked.” Max shrugged smugly, before entering his tent and firmly zipping it up, muttering something about the place being nicknamed ‘Camp _Camp_ ’ and the fact that David had a pink phone case. It took every ounce of Gwen’s self-control to not rip the tent’s pegs from the ground and leave Max to scramble under the collapsed fabric. It’d serve him fucking right, but Gwen knew it would just make David feel worse to find her antagonizing Max. Resigned and exhausted, Gwen stumbled back to the cabin and shut the door quietly. Eyes scanning the room, they fell upon David as a lump under the covers, and she was caught by surprise at the quiet sobs sounding from beneath the blankets.  
“David-” she automatically blurted.   
“Gwen, oh--” David croaked and sniffed heavily from beneath the covers, “I-I didn’t hear you enter.” Silently, Gwen crossed to his bed and sat on the end awkwardly, playing with her hands and unsure of how to address the situation, one hand ghosting over his lumpy form.   
“Uh, do you wanna… you know… talk about it?” Gwen winced at her inability to console people properly. David’s auburn hair poked out from beneath the covers, his red-rimmed and glistening eyes following.   
“You’d listen?”   
“Sure I would.”   
“Uh…” David’s voice cracked into a whisper, and he cleared his throat, wiping his eyes with one arm as he sat up, still clutching his bandana with the other. “Right.”   
“Look, Max is a little shit, okay? We’ve established this. He wants to push all your buttons and wear you down because it makes him feel better about his shitty life. He’s a bully David, but you’re an adult, you don’t have to put up with this.” David remained silent for a while, long enough for Gwen to start fidgeting, wondering if she’d said the wrong thing.  
“I don’t know how to deal with bullies, Gwen.” It was almost too quiet for her to hear, but it sent a pang of understanding through her heart.   
“You had trouble with bullies, huh?” David nodded meekly. “If it’s any comfort, I got picked on too.”  
“Who would want to pick on you? You’re so cool!”  
“You… think so?” Gwen asked, bashful and unsure how to handle the compliment. David grinned lopsidedly in confirmation, a little embarrassed by having exclaimed it. Gwen chuckled and scratched her neck. “I guess you’re the only one who thinks so, though. I got a lot of shit from girls as a kid, because I’m not the most feminine or pretty or social.” David furrowed his brow, but remained silent. “I mean, I’m not sure what kind of stuff you went through, and if it was a lot worse than my petty shit then I’m gonna feel bad, but I got called names all the damn time and even got pushed into puddles a few times. It wasn’t fun.”  
“Gwen… Thank you for telling me that. Really.” Gwen wondered if David was going to open up to her, or if he was going to bottle up his problems like he always seemed to do. She barely noticed that he’d grabbed her wrist and was holding it in a delicate grip, loose enough so she could pull away at any time. _Considerate_ , she thought, when it floated through her mind a while later. “I guess… I got picked on in the same way, but at the time I _really_ didn’t know how to deal with it.”  
“What do you mean?” Asked Gwen, curiosity piqued. David bit the inside of his cheek, the same expression Gwen had come to recognise as the one that warned her she was heading into personal territory. David’s ability to hide information from others never ceased to amaze her, as she was essentially an open book, even when she tried to keep things private. It was like her secrets were on tap and the faucet was always kept running for anyone who cared to drink from it. David, on the other hand, was some kind of rusty clogged sink full of twigs and perhaps a family of frogs, not too different from the sinks the camp supplied.   
“I guess I’ve just decided it’s better not to make things worse.” Gwen could recognise a non-answer when she heard one, and knew it was time to withdraw from the conversation. David worried the bandana with one of his hands, the brightness of the yellow being an assault to her eyes, and gently slipped her wrist from his grip. He smiled weakly at her, and she returned the gesture, before saying goodnight and crossing the room, finally collapsing into bed.


	5. Memories

“Hey, Davey.” Came a familiar voice, seemingly polite and warm as the owner prowled up beside him, falling into step as he slung an arm across the younger boy’s shoulders. “Quite the weather we’re having, hmm?”   
“Buzz off, Craig.” David grumbled, attempting to shrug the boy’s arms off his body, which only served to tighten Craig’s grip. The world sped past them in a flurry of grays and greens, the road and surrounding shrubbery hazy and unfocused.   
“Ooh, I’m terribly hurt. Quite the temper you have.” Craig’s next words were muffled, time lapsing in a way that David’s mind accepted, and three more boys had suddenly apparated. David noted he was now backed into an alleyway, the warm arm around his shoulders gone.  
“-little faggot seems to be very worked up today,” a different voice from Craig’s faded in.   
“Don’t call me that, you bunch of nimrods!”   
“Nimrods, eh? I think some little homo needs to be put in their place!” David’s upper lip curled, exposing his teeth as all three of the boys pounced on him, fists raining down and thumping him against the concrete, his hands useless at fending them off, only seeming to wrap himself up further in their offending bodies, leaving no space to maneuver himself out of the tangle of people. David yelped at the sight of his own blood, and then his eyes snapped open to a darkened room, chest heaving and forehead glistening with cold sweat and his entire body trapped beneath his duvets. Kicking the covers away, feeling as though they’d personally violated him, David let his legs dangle off the edge of the bed and placed his head in his hands, remaining in the position for several minutes as moonlight streamed through the cracks between the curtains and he struggled to catch his breath.  
It was the same situation he always dreamed about, however each time it was different, reconstructed with different environments or faces or exchanges of insults. Every time however, one thing was the same: he was called a faggot. It was a word burned into his eardrums, always the same inflection and tone and volume, ever since the day he’d first had it hurled at him, the same day he’d received his first broken nose. David gently stroked through his dampened hair, before he glanced to his phone and pressed it on, recoiling at the brightness of his lockscreen, squinting as he read the time. Three thirty in the morning. At least he’d been able to sleep long enough to have a dream, despite dreams being the reason he was so averse to sleeping. Careful not to wake Gwen, David slipped on a pair of shorts and shoes, quietly unlatching the door and exiting into the cold night. Breeze ruffling at his shirt, David’s arms snapped to his chest and he quickly rubbed at his biceps, crossing the campground and heading towards the lake, a place so tranquil and forgiving. Sometimes he brought his guitar with him on these sleepless adventures, but tonight he felt it was too quiet, that breaking that kind of special silence would only serve to agitate his state further.   
As his weary legs carried him to the docks, and he let himself sit at the end of it and let the tips of his shoes feel the lapping of the water, a small cough was released from behind him. Whipping his head around, David spied Max’s form at the other end of the dock, slowly approaching him.  
“Max, you need to be in your tent.”  
“You need to be in your cabin and not waking kids up by loudly stomping through the fucking campground.” Max drawled. David blanched.  
“I didn’t even realise I was being that loud.” Max sighed.  
“Okay, you weren’t, I made it up.” David offered Max a welcoming smile, shuffling over on the edge of the dock and making space for Max to sit if he wished to. Max didn’t make an effort to move forwards, instead gazing out over the lake with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, the wind ruffling his thick, curly hair.   
“I appreciate your honesty-”  
“Shut it. I know there’s something wrong with you, David. No matter how much you try to hide it with your shitty positivity and encouragement or pretending to believe in me, I know that you’re just as fucked up as everyone else. Normal people don’t stare at lakes at half past three in the morning. Why can’t you just admit that you have problems?” David watched Max with an unreadable expression, the moonlight reflected in his eyes and within the rippling water, both holding a murky depth that intrigued Max in that same apathetic way he processed most emotion.   
“This camp isn’t for me, Max. It’s for you, and all the other kids. I can promise that I care about you, and even if you don’t believe that I do, I’m not going to stop being there for you. I know something might be wrong, and I’m not going to pry about it, but I want you to know that I’m always here to listen, okay?”  
“David, you’re not fucking answering me!” Max’s eyes were glassy and hurt, brow creased and fists balled in frustration. “You’re just spewing bullshit like every other adult does about _my_ shitty life and _my_ shitty problems and pretending that I won’t fucking understand them. For once stop trying to pretend you care and that your life is perfect and just be fucking realistic!” David watched as Max ranted and heaved, getting increasingly worked up, and was unsure how to handle such a situation. He wasn’t sure why Max was so fixated on getting him to admit that he had problems, but numerous possibilities were floating through his mind as he watched Max with that same murky and depthful gaze.  
“Would it help you, Max, if I told you about myself?” Max was frustrated and confused by the question, with the way David’s head was only half-turned to face him, eyes flicking away to avoid contact and dulled despite being caught in the moonlight. Although Max craved to know anything at all about what weaknesses such an infuriatingly, unrealistically kind and positive man could have, answering the question would also be admitting that he needed some kind of ‘help’. Narrowing his eyes, Max stomped down on David’s resting hand, earning a pained yelp and for David to almost fall into the cold, unforgiving lake.  
“Fuck you.” Max spat, turning on his heel and making his way back to bed. David watched after him, wondering if perhaps he was dreaming again.


	6. Three Little Bastards

A few weeks more of Max’s troublesome presence passed until David and Gwen caught wind of some new arrivals. David had eagerly gushed about it to Gwen for the past three evenings, eyes large and sparkling in the typical David way as he bounced up and down on the side of his bed.  
“-and Nikki is a girl who’s been signed up for Adventure Camp, which is super exciting because that was one of my favourite camps as a camper, and we don’t get a lot of girls who are into the outdoors like that so-”  
Gwen found David’s ceaseless ramblings to be a great cause of instant migraines, but entertaining his excitement was always the least she could do for him, so she played along and acted interested in some kids that were just going to create more work for her.  
On the day the new kids had arrived, Gwen felt muddled and confused, every event occurring in a flurry of yelling and crying and David getting hit by a bus. Once the police had left after writing David up, Max, Neil, and Nikki left the two shattered counsellors with their arms around one-another as some kind of newly-formed clique. David seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that three kids working together to create anarchy was a terrible situation, instead joyful about the fact that Max had actually made some friends. For once, Gwen was unable to be impressed at his optimism, instead considering hitting him with something. Once David punched her arm _way_ too hard, Gwen actually did hit him, bashing him over the head with his stupid fucking guitar.  
Later that week, when David had purchased a new guitar and was lovingly tuning it on his side of the cabin, Gwen heard the sound of giggling outside her window. _Oh, fuck._  
“David, did you hear that?” She whispered.  
“That I did! The children are obviously having so much fun!”  
“After fucking _midnight_?!” David paused and processed what she’d said.  
“You have a point, there.” Before the counsellors could stand up or exchange any more words, a rock flew through Gwen’s open window and hit David square in the face. The giggling children shrieked, the sound of their footfalls becoming distant as they fled.  
“Get back here you motherfuckers!” Gwen exclaimed out her window, turning and about to exit the cabin to chase after them, when her eyes fell upon David who was whimpering at the sight of so much blood. “David, fuck, right, how did they even manage to get it so far across the room?” Coming up beside him, she helped David into a standing position, who was holding his blood-stained hand against his temple, his hair already matted with a darker red than his actual hair colour.  
“Sl-slingshot, probably.” Bringing the snivelling David into the bathroom, she sat him down on the toilet seat and searched for a washcloth. Running the fabric under cold water, she turned and pressed it to David’s bleeding temple, who let out a high-pitched whimper as the tears streamed from his eyes. She made a soothing noise and pressed it a little harder, the other hand holding his jaw in place.  
“Don’t worry David, I know who the kids were. I’ll call their parents in the morning.”  
“Don’t-” David blurted, before freezing and averting his eyes. Gwen scrutinised him.  
“What do you mean, don’t? David, they have to be punished for their actions. They could have seriously hurt you.”  
“They’re just _troubled_ , Gwen, what if they’re just acting out because their parents… you know…” David trailed off, unsure of himself, and looking very small from Gwen’s position above him.  
“I never actually considered that. You… you really care about these kids, don’t you?”  
“More than anything in the world.”  
“David,” she sighed, fumbling through the cupboards for bandages. “I don’t know how you expect to deal with this, because this is serious. I don’t think being nice to these kids is going to work.”  
“It has to work, Gwen. If I can be a positive influence on these kids, maybe even the first adult to treat them with care and respect, then perhaps they’ll feel less inclined to lash out at me. I don’t want them to fear me, I want them to feel loved and cared for and improve their self-esteem.”  
“You don’t know that, though,” Gwen said softly as she wound the bandage around David’s wound. “I know it seems like bad behaviour is caused by an underlying problem, but have you considered that some kids are just straight up little shits?”  
“I simply don’t accept that logic.” David shook his head, which caused Gwen to have to jerk his chin back into place so she could keep winding the bandage. “It’s attention-seeking behaviour, usually, or a form of feeling better about their own problems. Neglectful parents makes a kid want to lash out at any adult who has authority over them. I’ve worked here for a while, and I see it time and again. Never like this, though.”  
“You have really valid points, don’t get me wrong, but we’ve seen how Max reacted to you the first day we met him. I don’t know if you could ever get through to the kid.”  
“You’d be surprised,” David said with a mysterious smile, gazing past her into the middle-distance. “I can tell that how I treat him is confusing to him, but I feel like I might be able to have a breakthrough with him. I just think no adult has ever tried to actually understand him, and that catches him by surprise.”  
“So, Max is like a project, then?”  
“He’s a person, first and foremost. I suppose that getting through to him is my project. I’m not trying to fix him or change his life, I just want to see if I can get him to realise that this camp isn’t a threat to him.”  
“And also to get him to stop hitting you with rocks.”  
“Yeah, that too.”


	7. Guitar

Fingers gently reached across a fretboard and pressed against the strings, changing the pitch of the strumming melody created by the other hand, the soft music floating through the otherwise quiet evening air. Plucking the strings with his fingers, David hummed along to the music, spaced out in his own little word and letting the notes thrum through his chest and ears. Gwen, lying on her bed across the room and enthralled in one of her not-porn magazines, glances over to David who had an incredibly relaxed demeanor, eyes closed and lips quirked softly and hair a little mussed. She smiled to herself at the rare sense of calm radiating from the usually hyperactive counsellor, and propped herself up on her elbows.  
“What’s that you’re playing, then?” David’s eyes flicked open at the sound of Gwen’s voice, and moved back from his position of leaning over the guitar, fingers absentmindedly tapping against the wood. Gwen regretted interrupting him a little, as she had stopped the pleasant music, but David was smiling sheepishly at her which was more interesting.  
“I don’t really know, just something I’m making up I guess.”  
“You’re able to make that up as you go along? It sounds too good to be improvised.”  
“Well, it’s really not too difficult once you learn the basics of guitar. It’s just the different chords and fiddling around with scales, it gets easier every time you play.”  
“Hmm,” Gwen hummed thoughtfully. “It’s quite pretty.” David’s face heated a slight amount.  
“Thanks, I’ve been working on some of my own songs but I can’t really find the time.”  
“I’m the same way about writing, I guess.”  
“What do you write about?”  
“Uh… Stuff.”  
“Stuff?” David asked, raising his eyebrows in a manner Gwen could almost call _cheeky_. Internally, she was pretty self-conscious about the subject of her writing, and was hesitant about telling David what she wrote, but the uncharacteristically mischievous glint in his eye was enough to sway her.  
“Vampire romance,” she said quietly, and waited for him to start laughing. However, he instead looked intrigued, if a little clueless. Gwen quickly opted to change the subject.  
“So, what are your songs about, then?” It was David’s turn to clam up, and Gwen thought it served him right. After a few moments of silence, David rubbed his arm and spoke.  
“I guess just stuff I’m dealing with. That, and a lot of songs about camping! I’m sure you know the Camp Campbell theme song backwards by now, but if you’d like me to play it for you-”  
“Absolutely not!” Gwen cut off, feeling herself about to slip into hysteria. “I mean-- that won’t be necessary. Are your other songs much different from the theme song?”  
“Quite a bit, I guess. I could play something for you sometime, if you’d like.”  
“Why not now?” Gwen noted the flicker of self-consciousness in David’s expression and understood his hesitance, she would have responded the same way if he’d asked to see her writing. Ready to back off, David instead gives her a nod and lets out a breath, fumbling over the strings and finding the right position. A chord Gwen hadn’t heard him play before sounded from the guitar, one that was low but twinged with something high and sultry and lonely, like something that would ring through a deserted village or would blow distantly through a graveyard and the chord alone brought tears to her eyes. David looked as though he was about to continue strumming, but noticed her reaction and looked up.  
“A minor,” he informed, and Gwen simply nodded, surprised at how moved she was by a simple strum. Seemingly encouraged by her reaction, David resumed his playing, switching into a higher chord which was full of another entire tone, like a salty melancholy which held a weight she couldn’t fathom. She instinctively leaned forwards, entranced now, so fixated on David’s strumming that she jumped when he began to sing, his voice smooth and warm, so different compared to the harsh punk and rock singers she usually listened to.

“Something only I can see  
I wish I could show to you,  
colours caught in autumn leaves  
I want to share this view.  
I know it’s hard to see the world  
in such a lovely way,  
when the world has left you beaten down  
and led your life astray.

It’s our colour blindness that separates us  
yet brings me close to you,  
our worlds so different in their colour  
with such opposing hues.”

David’s singing trailed off into a quiet hum, fingers slipping on the strings and creating inconsistencies in the song, until he pushed his hand flat against all the strings and ceased their vibration completely. Looking up to Gwen for approval, he blinked in surprise at the genuinely moved expression on her face, clutching tighter to his guitar and wetting his lips, breaking eye-contact and very unsure of himself.  
“It’s a work in progress, I haven’t quite figured out the rest of the words yet.”  
“David, that was… really good.” Embarrassed, Gwen scrubbed at her eyes and looked away, arms folding over her chest. David offered her a small smile.  
“Thanks, Gwen.”  
Lapsing into silence, the two counselors fiddled and avoided each other's eyes, in a state of both endless calm as well as radiating self-consciousness. It was a rare moment they could share, the brief times Gwen was able to get David in a mood that wasn’t extreme excitability, and she cherished them in some kind of way. David really was her closest friend, even if sometimes the thought repulsed her, as she’d never met such an unconditionally loving and supportive man, someone who was so proud of her, so kind to others, and so incredibly positive in life. It made her mad a lot of the time, because the world is so far from perfect and the fact that David treats it as though it is, with no bitterness or spite or grudges, frustrates her endlessly. In the past, she mistook his outlook on life as naivety.  
In moments like these, where his eyes betrayed his feelings in that closed-off way, and his fingers gripped to his guitar or his clipboard or his bandana as though there was no fate worse than losing them, and he’d shuffle self-consciously under Gwen’s scrutinising, she came to understand that David has been hurt in the past, and perhaps his positivity is in order to improve the world that broke him down because he couldn’t bear the concept of making it worse. Something like that.  
“David, who is that song about?”  
“I suppose it’s about everyone.” David paused for a long while, and something appeared in his eyes when he looked at Gwen, something determined yet also broken. “My mum-- er, parents, the kids… you,” he broke eye-contact with her and hunched back over his guitar. “Some people from the past as well, an old friend... but maybe it’s more about me than anyone else.”  
“That’s a very cryptic answer, David.”  
“Is it?” David asked, looking up with a laugh, his hair bouncing cartoonishly as he did so, and the cheeky twinkle in his eyes made her want to playfully hit him on the head. Since she was so far across the room, and David’s head was still bandaged and healing, she resisted the urge. “I don’t really think about the deeper meaning in my songs. I guess they’re just things that float around in my head and if they rhyme, well, what’s the harm in using them?”  
“So, what, you think entirely in vague metaphors?”  
“Well, a lot of the time, yes.” They both chuckled at that, the thick self-conscious air in the room melting away with each thought shared, and Gwen realised just how comfortable she actually felt with David now, and that he seemed a little more comfortable, too. Despite his frustrating positivity or complete naivety in every other moment of his life, Gwen knew that she was talking to the _real_ David right now, and that she cared deeply for the goofy man with a bandage wrapped around his head and an acoustic guitar splayed across his lap.  
“Gwen, could I read your writing sometime?” David asked hopefully.  
“Oof, it’s awful, but… I suppose you can.”  
“I doubt it being awful. You’re really smart!”  
“Shut up, I’m… I’m whatever the hell I am, and part of that is being a terrible writer.”  
“Stop self-criticising, it doesn’t get you anywhere.” Gwen shrugged at the soft expression in David’s eyes.  
“It keeps my ego down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder that this song is original and made up by me, so don't worry about trying to find it, it's not actually real (it's also bad which is a giveaway lmaooooo)


	8. Can't Sleep

“Mum, what happened to dad?” A half-burned cigarette flicked ash in his direction, before being snubbed out on the table in front of him.   
“You ain’t have one, as far as I care.”  
“But-”  
“Go do your homework or whatever, and wash that dirt off your face, shithead.”   
David frowned at the smoldering cigarette butt in front of him, before standing and storming off to his room. Slamming the door behind him, he heard his mother shout something about ‘slamming his head in the door if he did it again’, but David ignored her, sitting on the floor and rummaging through a shoebox full of toys. Digging through the cheap plastic soldiers and the knock-off _Hot Wheels_ , David pulled out a dirty pink bear which was probably full of dust mites, and held it close to his chest. It was something he’d found in his mother’s closet when he was young, wearing some sort of tiny fishnet outfit, which David quickly removed. He’d had it for years in his room, consulting it whenever he felt upset about his father, and having an unexplainable feeling that the bear was connected to him. David’s door slammed open.  
“How many times to I have to fucking tell you-- what the hell are you doing with that?” David flinched as his mother snatched the bear away, stumbling a bit and nearly dropping her wine glass. “I didn’t buy you soldiers and cars to have you playing with a little girl’s toy! You better not grow up into a pussy faggot like your father! That’s it boy, I’m signing you up to summer camp, so you can learn to be a _real_ man.” Before David could ask anything, his mother had slammed the door and taken the bear with her. Tears in his eyes, David wrapped his arms around his knees and tried not to make any sound, because when he cried she’d yell at him too.

David realised he was awake, watching the ceiling for a long while until his eyes adjusted to the low light. He checked the time, and it was only 1:30AM - he hadn’t even slept a full hour. Had he slept at all? The memory thrummed in his head, less like the hazy fluidity of a dream and more like the detailed harshness of a recalling. David wasn’t even tired, his eyes feeling clear and alert, his entire body restless and feeling as though it was withdrawing from something.   
Following his usual routine of getting dressed before heading out into the darkness, David stepped outside and shut the door behind him, a little less cold than he had been when doing this a few weeks ago. Crossing the campground, David didn’t head down to the lake, rather following a trail that headed into the forest, and found himself a log to sit on a fair amount in. Placing his head in his hands, David shook silently, dry-sobbing without really feeling any emotion. It was a memory well-worn, flicking through his mind at least once a month, always hurting him in varying amounts whenever he felt it, but unpleasant every time. It was always something he avoided even considering, but at times like these he had to face facts, that he never had a father, and that it fucking _hurts_.   
It seems to affect him in almost everything he does, from how he interacts with children and their parents, to what he writes, to how he thinks and behaves. It is a scar deeply embedded in his personality, one which he is not even close to ready to talk about. It threatens everything he holds close to himself, especially the most vulnerable aspects of himself, and his masculinity as a whole.   
His thoughts turned to the people he cares about, which were Gwen and the kids, and refused to let himself feel hope that they’d understand. Learning not to open up was an important defense mechanism for him, as telling people about his personal life never ended well - in some cases, it had cost him dearly. David knew that Gwen was a good person, that through her sometimes stroppy attitude and irritation towards him, she was someone with a pure heart and good intentions. Yet, whenever he was faced with what seemed like her actually wanting to listen to him, David couldn’t bring himself to tell her anything. He didn’t want her to hate him, and he didn’t want her to see him as anything other than a happy man - because he is happy, that is. Finding out he used to not be that way would mortify him, as his past is something he’d much rather forget.   
“Hey, asshole.” It took all of David’s self-control to not shriek at the sudden voice. Opening his eyes, David saw Max standing a metre or so away, hands shoved into his hoodie pockets, an emotionless expression on his face.  
“Max, hello.” David was aware of his voice cracking, and instantly shut his mouth, clearing his throat. Max smirked.   
“What are you crying about, then? Finally realised that life sucks?”  
“Not quite.” David admitted, and his answer was enough to make Max sit next to him, curiosity piqued but otherwise apathetic. “Just bad dreams, problems sleeping, you know.”  
“Insomnia makes you cry? That’s pathetic.”   
“You ignored the part about bad dreams,” David said with an amused expression. “Insomnia is terrible, though.”  
“I’m well aware. I come out here every night, sometimes I wonder if I’ll see your stupid ass walking around and not getting a hard-on over camping skills, or whatever.”  
“Well, here I am.” Max stopped himself from grinning at the fact that David hadn’t even acknowledged the hard-on comment, nor the fact that Max was constantly leaving his tent against regulation. Either he was _that_ tired, or he was way too preoccupied with whatever was making him sad.  
“So you’re having nightmares? Big deal. Only a massive pussy like you would cry about it.” David flinched a slight amount, but Max didn’t appear to see it, instead drawing in the dust with a stick so he didn’t have to look at David and make eye-contact.  
“They’re more like bad memories, Max.” David corrected quietly. “Not pleasant, but I have to get it out of my system. Everyone needs to cry once in awhile, even me.”  
“You cry every other week, David,” Max drawled. “Besides, don’t turn this into some kind of moral like you always do. You act all high and mighty like you’re emotionally stable but then you walk around at ungodly hours and refuse to tell anyone anything about yourself, pretending that your life is perfect and happy despite literally just mentioning you have ‘bad memories’. Seriously David, I swear one day you’re gonna fucking snap.”   
“While I don’t approve of your language _or_ implications Max, I can understand your frustration - what I don’t get is why you want to know these things about me so badly. Wouldn’t you want to know your friends as their best selves?”  
“One, you’re not my friend, and two, I want to know you as a fucking human being! Most people actually talk about their problems, not hide them under layers of intense positivity and denial. For fuck’s sake, I just want to know somebody who’s gone through something I have--” Max cut himself off and started scribbling very hard with the stick, until it snapped.  
“Max?”  
“Shut up.” Max stood up.  
“Max, wait--”  
“Shut the fuck up David! I don’t want to hear your fucking sympathy, okay?! You adults are all the same, trying to make everything about me, or calling my fucked up parents, or sending me to shitty therapists, and I’m fucking sick of it! Everyone my age doesn’t understand because they’re all too emotionally immature and I guess I was wrong in thinking you would understand, because even though there’s obviously something wrong with you, you refuse to acknowledge it or tell me how the fuck you manage to actually be happy despite it and it’s fucking infuriating!” Max, in his heated rage and upset, turned and punched a tree, tears brimming in his eyes and threatening to spill. “Agh!” He grabbed his fist and held it, back turned to David, breathing heavily as David watched him with shock and concern.   
“Max,” David began tentatively. “I don’t talk about myself because I’m an adult, and you’re a child. I don’t want to burden you with my problems, and I certainly don’t want to overrule anything you might be going through. You have to understand that you’re under mine and Gwen’s care, which means we need to be role models for you, and our authority is an important part of that-”  
“Stop spewing your shit to me! You don’t even believe in authority! This is just some fake adult way of telling me that you think I’m too young to understand. Well guess what, asshole? My parents never gave a fuck about me. I’ve grown up pretty much on my own as a latchkey kid who learned all my life skills by myself. I learned that the world is angry and hateful. I learned that people suck and care about stupid shit and they’ll never understand me. I learned all this horrible shit at far too young an age and it’s ruined my childhood and the one thing I’ve never been able to learn is how to be happy - oh, and what it’s like to have someone give a shit about me, of course. So tell me David, tell me right fucking now, if you’re going to just regurgitate some more fake bullshit and call my parents and have them take me away, or if you’re going to treat me like what I am: someone who grew up too fucking fast. I need you to tell me that so I can know whether it’s worth it to keep trying with you.”  
“Max.” David remained seated, however he sat up straighter, looking Max in the eyes with an unreadable expression. “I’ve never seen you as anything other than what you are: someone who could run circles around me in the ways of intelligence, someone who is far more realistic than me, and someone who will certainly go on to be more successful than me. I also see that you’re unhappy - but you’re right that you’re more mature than I’m used to, and some kind words and positive reinforcement isn’t going to make your situation any better. What’s thrown me off though, Max, is something you might not realise. Ever since the day I met you, the most important thing I’ve seen in you, is my past self.”  
“Bullshit,” Max responded, eyes wide as the rage ebbed out of him, and he retook his seat beside David, who nodded.  
“I had a bad upbringing,” David almost choked on the words, at how they slipped out so easily for it being the first time he’d uttered them, the first time he’d ever pieced them together in that order within his mind. “I never knew my father, and my mother wasn’t-- isn’t a good woman. I was a troubled child, lashing out at school and dealing with all sorts of bullying, getting in trouble with teachers and never doing any homework.” Max was leaning forward now, incredibly captivated by David’s words, clearly getting more information than he’d bargained for. “Max, what changed my life was getting sent to this camp. At first, I didn’t even leave my tent, but then I was quickly out and about, causing trouble and despising my counselors and ruining the activities for everyone else.”  
“So what changed?”  
“Jasper,” David said quietly, before blinking and clearing his throat. “Um, I ended up completing an activity that I was forced to do. The sense of accomplishment once I was done, and the happiness on everyone’s faces when they saw me receiving my award, completely changed my life. Once I started to get more involved afterwards, I realised just how happy being able to have careless fun with other kids was, and I fell in love with nature along the way. Camp Campbell saved me.”  
“And that’s why you became a counselor here.” Max realised out loud, piecing it all together at last, eyes never ceasing to be wide.   
“That’s right. I know it might not be what you want to hear, and it might not be the answer you want, which is why I was unsure whether to tell you this, but that’s what I’m here for. I want to make kids like you and me realise that even if they have a troubled life back home, they’ll always have a family here. It sounds goopy and sentimental, which I know you hate, but it really is true. I care about everyone that comes through our camp, and that’s not something I’m faking - my positivity isn’t fake, either. I love this job more than anything in the world, and even if I have personal problems or bad dreams, you kids make it all worth it. Even you, Max. Especially you. This,” David motioned between them, “makes it worth it.” Max was silent for a while, eyes downcast, half in thought and the other half in some kind of unprocessed emotion.   
“What about when you had to go back home?”  
“I was unhappy, but I kept myself going by two things. One, that I could return next year, and two, that sixteen is age I can legally leave school and move out.” Max laughed at that, and David gave an amused huff.   
“You really left home like that?”  
“Well, I was kicked out, actually.”  
“Really? Was there a reason?” Max could see David hesitating, and chose not to be upset at that - he’d heard more than he expected, and if this was the point David would clam up, he could still leave satisfied.   
“Yeah, there was one.”  
“David, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, really.” David let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  
“Thanks, Max. I’ll tell you one day.”  
“When I’m older?”  
“When _I’m_ older.”


	9. Parents

“Hey Max,” David greeted as Max opened the door to the counselors office and trudged inside. Gwen instantly began to splutter through a bite of her sandwich, protesting the fact that there was an annoying kid inside their private cabin while she was trying to relax.  
“Hey David,” Max responded casually, hopping up on the bed next to David, holding a pen and a pad of paper. “The others are really loud, is it alright if I draw in here?”  
“Sure!”   
“Am I the only one confused?!” Gwen finally exclaimed after choking down her mouthful, entirely exasperated as her hands flailed about in the general direction of David and Max. “Why is Max in here, why are you _letting_ him be in here, and why is he not being a little shit?!”   
“Well, Gwen, you see, um--”  
“We had a heart-to-heart last night, so shut it.”  
“You… What?” Gwen stared at David, who looked down and away, running a hand through his auburn hair. Max just nodded smugly at her. “David and I are on good terms now, so you better watch your back, because I still need _someone_ to abuse.”  
“He’s kidding,” David jumped in with a nervous smile. “We can talk about this later Gwen, but just know that I’m allowing Max to come in here when he wants, and he promised not to cause too much trouble or break anything.”  
“I guess… that’s fine?” Gwen said, still in a state of perplexity as her eyes darted between the two of them. “However I am slightly worried that I’m having a stroke right now.”  
“Amen to that, sister.” Max said sarcastically, not looking up from his drawing pad. David offered Gwen an unstable smile, to which she just groaned at in response and took another bite of her sandwich. 

“Alright, you need to tell me what the fuck’s going on,” Gwen demanded later that evening, as soon as David had returned from making sure all the kids were in bed. David had a wide-eyed and mildly terrified expression, freezing in the doorway as she said it, before resigning with a sigh and shutting the door behind him.  
“I told him things because I knew it would help him.”  
“What kind of things?!”  
“Things about myself.”   
“And you didn’t stop to think that an eleven year old who has a history of torturing you shouldn’t know about your personal life?”  
“Of course I stopped to think about that!” David said loudly, and Gwen jumped at the irritation in his tone. Was this the first time she’d ever seen him actually upset about something? Gwen fidgeted uncomfortably when she realised she had no idea how to deal with an agitated David. “I thought about that every time he pushed me to talk about myself, every time I was uncertain about what the best way of helping him would be, and whenever I look at him and I see my old self in him, that’s when I stop to think about it.” David sat on his bed with his head in his hands, shoulders straining with tension and heaving heavily with his deep inhaling. “So I’ve given it a lot of thought, okay? And it helped him. I think it really helped him.”  
“David,” Gwen started, pausing uncertainly before she bit the bullet and crossed the room, sitting next to him. “Sorry, I didn’t know. God, I’ve been an idiot.”   
“It’s alright, I know how it could seem bad. It is Max being polite after all, and there’s nothing more suspicious than that.” Gwen laughed at that, looking across at David, whose lips quirked but quickly dropped. Sucking in a breath, Gwen acted on impulse, and put an arm around his shoulders. This was the first time she’d really initiated contact with him, having only ever touched him when he crushed her in his mostly unwelcome hugs. David’s smile grew at that, still containing the same sadness, but a smile was better than the unnatural stoic expression he held priorly.   
“What did you even talk about with him? I’d imagine it’d be hard to find common ground.”  
“Actually, it’s easier than you think, considering I was exactly like Max when I was a kid.”  
“You’re shitting me!” Gwen exclaimed, removing her arm from him so she could slap his upper arm. David grinned and looked away in recalling.  
“I can promise you I’m not. I’ve talked about myself enough for a while though, I’d rather talk about Max… I’m actually pretty worried about him.”  
“Fuck, what’s wrong?” Gwen asked softly as David worried his lip.  
“I think his parents are abusing him - they’re definitely neglectful. The way he described having to grow up and learn things pretty much on his own is really worrying. I’m not sure what to do.”  
“Honestly David, I don’t know if there’s much you _can_ do. We could take it to the police, but that might ruin Max’s trust in us, and it might even make things worse. For now, we make sure that he has the best time he can while under our care, and if he wants our help with this, then we follow his guide, okay?”  
“Okay, Gwen.” David nodded, and internally she felt the same anxiety that David did, but knew that she needed to be strong for David regarding this situation. Rubbing his back, she let out her thousandth sigh of the day, feeling him lean into her touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very short chapter, don't let it alarm you, these chapter lengths vary wildly and the upcoming ones are a lot longer i think


	10. Writing

Gwen was tucked up with her laptop several days later, the sunset creating an overlay of an orange hue that stretched through her window, and she furiously typed away, eyes burning at the brightness of her screen. Blinking every few seconds to refocus her vision on the words quickly darting across the page, David exited the bathroom from his shower, rubbing a towel through his hair, otherwise dressed down into his sleepwear. Gwen didn’t acknowledge him, too enthralled in what she was writing, and it was only when David was standing curiously over her shoulder that she flinched and snapped her laptop shut, only just falling short of actually hissing at him. David threw up his hands in a passive gesture.  
“Sorry, sorry. You just looked so into it, I thought it must be good.”  
“It’s really not, I’m just having motivation for once, so I’m writing as much as I can before it burns out.” Gwen opened her laptop again, more comfortable with the idea of David being able to see, but still knowing that the content of her writing was certainly questionable, and quite personal to her.  
“Can I maybe read it?” David asked with a hopeful expression, and Gwen felt sweat forming on her temple, scrolling through the document and searching for any part of the story that wouldn’t make David immediately blush or figure out some really personal information about herself.  
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Rushing to find a part David could read before he got suspicious as to why she was being so secretive, her eyes skimmed part of a chapter that seemed fairly innocent, and she patted the bed to instruct that David sit next to her. He obliged, and she passed her laptop to him, chewing on her nails. It was a tense few minutes as David read, and she strained to see over his shoulder at some points because his silence was beginning to worry her, and he kept making little noises that were either impressed or some form of disgust. Gwen wasn’t sure.   
“Wow, this is fantastic!” David commented, though gave no sign that he was going to stop reading. “You really have a way with words, and your characters are really cool. Are they vampires?”  
 _Fuck, was he up to that part already?!_  
“Uh-- uhm, they--” Gwen reached towards him tentatively, pulling back with a wince as he spoke again.  
“Huh, wow-- Is this a romance?”  
“Okay that’s enough for today!” Gwen exclaimed and quickly pulled the laptop away from him, eyes wild and laptop safely clutched to her chest. David watched her with an innocently puzzled expression at her state of panic, before a wave of understanding hit him. “Y-You weren’t supposed to read that far…”  
“I... can see that.” David offered her a reassuring smile, but she still looked incredibly mortified. “Are they… Y’know…”  
“You can say lesbians, David.” Gwen said, a little angrier than she’d intended it to come out, and shut the lid of her laptop. David squirmed and dropped his eyes in a contrite manner.   
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to… I’m not at all uncomfortable with it or anything.”  
“Whatever, David,” she sighed, not at all in the mood to tolerate another conversation with some uninformed man attempting to navigate the world of lesbianism for the first time. “I shouldn’t have let you read so much.”  
“Gwen,” David tried, with more desperation in his tone, “Wait, I… I should’ve reacted better, I’m sorry. I’m really not uncomfortable with it, I just didn’t expect it, that’s all. I didn’t really grow up…”  
“Around gay people?”  
“Allowed to know anything about gay people.” David corrected, and Gwen scrutinised him.   
“Your family were homophobic?”  
“My mum-- yeah, my… family.” It suddenly registered in Gwen’s mind that David had always caught himself when referring to his parents, always mentioning only his mother but quickly correcting himself, and Gwen wondered what that was about but pushed it to the back of her mind for the time being. Right now, Gwen couldn’t help but feel a bit cautious of David after learning of his homophobic upbringing.   
“You’re not actually homophobic, right?”  
“Goodness, no! I’m uninformed about it, but I’d never ever treat anyone unfairly for any aspect of their identity. Never.” David’s sincerity, in combination with him actually seeming affronted by the suggestion of being homophobic, filled Gwen’s mind with a sense of ease that she never realised she had been craving. _David isn’t homophobic. David isn’t homophobic. Someone I care about actually isn’t homophobic._  
“Oh my God, you have no idea how happy that makes me. Pretty much everyone I’ve met is a homophobe. It’s so refreshing to meet someone who isn’t.”  
“Well, I really admire how much you care about this issue and support gay people!” David exclaimed in a proud tone. Gwen blinked. She blinked again. She blinked a third time. _Did he… did he really just miss the glaringly obvious fact that I’m not straight? Fuck, am I really gonna have to shock him a second time? Poor guy might have a heart attack. Wait, am I actually considering coming out?!_  
“Um, yeah.” Gwen said quietly, worrying her lip between her teeth. She’d been doing that alot lately. Hopefully it wouldn’t start bleeding at some point. “David, actually, I should tell you something.” _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_  
“What is it, Gwen?” David asked, looking entirely concerned, and the fact that he hadn’t caught on by this point made Gwen seriously worried about whether being hit with that rock had caused him brain damage. However, at this point, she was more worried about the fact that she was about to come out to someone for the first time and her heart was thumping and her hands shook and she knew her voice was going to tremble when she tried to speak.   
“Um,” she cleared her throat when her voice came out hoarse. “I’ve never told anyone this,” she looked into David’s eyes, which looked so incredibly warm and welcoming and full of unconditional love and it all came flooding back to Gwen about how kind and supportive David had always been of her (as well as that conversation she had with Max about David possibly being gay, which she shoved to the back of her mind), and before she could hesitate or call off the idea as she had done so many millions of times in the past with so many different people, Gwen said it:  
“I like girls.”  
There was a pause. Gwen didn’t look at David, so she was unsure whether he was about to wrap her in a hug and tell her that he loved her no matter what, or if he was about to punch her in the face and leave the room yelling homophobic slurs and never speak to her again. Neither happened.   
“You like girls?”  
“Yes. Romantically. Sexually.”  
“Oh.”  
“Oh?” Gwen’s head whipped up, eyes full of tears that were beginning to drip down her cheeks. “Oh?! That’s all you have to say? Did I fucking disappoint you, David? Did I disgust you? Were you supportive of gays up until you actually fucking met one, huh?” Gwen snarled, standing up, not wanting to be near him at all, and began to pace.   
“Gwen-”  
“I knew this was a horrible idea. This is why I never told anyone about this. Nobody fucking understands and everyone hates gay people and the world sucks and I’m never gonna fall in love and even you fucking hate me now!”  
“Gwen!”  
“I guess all the kids are gonna find out I’m a dyke and tell their parents and we’ll get complaints that there’s a nasty queer on the premises with their children and I’ll have to run away and never see any of you again because I’m a fucking _freak_ who can’t be normal and I’ll never be able to be normal, David!”   
“Gwen!”  
“What!” Tears were streaming down her face.  
“I think I-” David very harshly cut himself off and stood up, avoiding her eyes as he quickly left the cabin, slamming the door behind him and running off God knows where. Gwen stared at the door, sobbing and unable to suck in a breath, her throat too closed up for such an ambitious action. Her chest heaved, she coughed, and let out another loud sob, her heart wrenching as she sank to the floor and cried into her hands. Blearily, she blinked up at David’s bed and noticed his neckerchief hanging off the side. Without realising what she was doing, she reached for it and pulled it close to her chest, and realised she’d accidentally unfolded it - and that it wasn’t a real neckerchief, it was actually a Camp Campbell shirt. Wiping her nose on the back of her wrist, Gwen struggled to control her breathing as she opened the shirt more and spied the tag, which had a name written on it with slightly-smudged sharpie:  
 _Jasper._

David stood on the edge of the lake, water lapping at his socks because he’d left in such a rush, and glared across the still waters. He glared at Spooky Island. He glared at the setting sun. His eyes were full of unshed tears as he sniffed and attempted to keep them in. Searching the ground next to him, his hands fumbled over some stones and he picked them up, not thinking much of his actions when he let out a yawp and tossed one as hard as he could into the lake. It landed with a loud splash, which was barely satisfying at all, but David kept throwing them and letting out grunts and trying to keep his sanity.   
_I think I-_  
When he’d run out of rocks, he fell to his knees, arm aching with how forcefully and stiffly he’d thrown them, and swallowed a gag at the bile rising in his throat. Nausea was the last thing he’d expected to experience, but before he was capable of processing it, he felt sweet spittle forming in his mouth that marked the fact that he was about to vomit. He spat it onto the grass and tried to keep it down.  
 _I think I’m-_  
Everything spun around him. The fact that he’d fucked up - he’d made Gwen feel like shit, like there was something wrong with her. The fact that the world is so horrible about homosexuality and how furious it made him, how that level of hatred was completely mystifying to him and was the only time he’d ever considered hitting someone, that homophobes made his blood boil, his mother made his blood boil. The fact that he might be-  
 _I think I’m-  
-what, a faggot?_  
A faggot. A faggot. A faggot. A bitchy frilly pussy homo faggot that played with pink bears and had daddy issues and fought his way through his childhood because he was never ‘man’ enough to keep the taunting away, even now, even with the kids he was supposed to be an authority over - but could never bring himself to establish dominance, and he never would, because that’s not the way he thinks things should ever be. He believes in love and kindness and support, and maybe that’s because his parents never did. Maybe that’s because Jasper did.  
 _I think I’m gay._


	11. It's Okay

A freezing breeze ruffled through his hair, over his clothing, his curled up form that still lay beside the lake. Hours later, with eyes unfocused and detached and staring at the rising moon and the distant points of light that speckled the night sky like the freckles on his face, he was still unfound, and unable to process his realisation. Nothing made sense, and he wasn’t ready for it to. He wasn’t ready to think about it, or piece his life together, or think about Jasper, or think about Gwen. Nothing was okay to think about, so David thought about nothing. 

Gwen had cried for a very long time, reading the unfamiliar name on the shirt over and over again, understanding exactly what the situation was but being unable to pull herself together and be reasonable. It was something she had to fix, but she’d rather cry harder, even though she understood now that David didn’t hate her and that she wasn’t in any sort of trouble - except the fact that David hadn’t returned, even after the sun had gone down and the moon was well on its way through the sky. 

Max was out of his tent again, after having heard very little noise coming from the counselor’s cabin, he assumed the coast was clear to go walking, even though he knew David didn’t have a problem with it anymore. Making his way around the track he usually took across the camp, walking behind the tents and circling the mess hall and the counselors’ office, he finally began his trek towards the lake, planning on sitting there for a while until hopefully the tranquility of that murky water made him sleepy. As the lake came into view, a dark form on the ground made Max squint his eyes, unsure of whether a massive rock just randomly appeared there out of nowhere, or if something had washed up on the beach. Heading closer to it, Max noticed that the moonlight was cast across this object, highlighting a familiar shade of red that Max associated with David’s hair. Max’s eyes widened in realisation, and he walked down the slope as quick as his little legs could muster.  
“David?” Max called with quivered uncertainty in his voice, drawing closer to the counselor. Coming up beside him, Max realised that David had fallen asleep at some point, his face half-lying in the dirt, the nasty scab on his temple facing up towards Max, who winced. _I really regret that._  
“David?” Max tried again, nudging David with his foot until David began to respond, mumbling under his breath and blinking his eyes open. Weakly, David shifted into a sitting position and noticed Max with a very confused expression on his face. “David, it’s two in the morning. Why are you sleeping out here?” David seemed to realise at that point, all the colour draining from his face.  
“Um, something happened with Gwen.”   
“What? Did you guys have a fight?”  
“I… Not exactly. You wouldn’t understand.”  
“I thought we were fucking past this David! We had a whole conversation about this, and you have the nerve to say that exact phrase to me?!”  
“Go to bed, Max.”  
“This, too? After you seemed to be okay with me walking around at night because you do it too? You’re just gonna forget about how you were totally fine with it and-”  
“Max. Go the _fuck_ to bed.” David’s eyes burned as he glared at Max, who let out a sharp inhale and took a step backwards. He’d never seen David so enraged, and then realised that he’d overstepped some kind of boundary. Hurt and confused, Max turned and scurried up the slope as fast as he could. The reminder that this involved Gwen struck him, and forcing his emotions down, Max hurried to the counselor’s cabin and flung open the door. Gwen looked up from holding the bandana, a hollow yet shocked expression on her face, and Max panted as they stared at one another.  
“What in the actual _fuck_ did you say to him?” 

David tore at his hair as he sat, eyes squeezed shut, tears forming at the corners. _I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have fucking said that._   
The lake lapped at him in a beckoning manner, the same way it always did, attempting to soothe him with its gentle gurgles and quiet bubbling. Usually it worked, but now it was drowned out by David’s frantic and erratic thoughts, as well as the sound of his laboured breathing, and the rapid pumping of his heart. _What have I done? What is going on? Are Gwen and Max okay?  
What’s wrong with me?_

“So you’re both gay?”   
“I-I think he is, I’m pretty sure-” Gwen clutched David’s bandana so tightly that if she pulled any tighter, it would probably rip in two, and then she’d have to leave and never look him in the eye again. Perhaps that option was already on the menu for her, considering she had no idea what the hell David was doing or feeling and all she knew is that she’d fucked up and pushed David into an incredibly vulnerable corner without realising.  
 _Not fun to discover you’re gay through someone demonizing gay people._  
“Big fucking whoop, there’s nothing to be worked up over. It’s not that big a deal.”  
“It is to me, it’s the first time I’ve ever told anyone about it, and I’m sure it is to David as well. Maybe it’s not to you, which is good considering we really don’t need to deal with any more shock tonight, but I have no idea how to fix this after what I said.”  
“Gwen, I think David thinks this is his fault, too. I mean, after what you’ve told me, nobody’s really at fault here. It’s just a big gay misunderstanding.”   
“I don’t think he was ready to find out.”  
“He’s fucking twenty or something, he’s a bit of a late bloomer, actually. Kids my age are already coming out.”  
“What? Really?”  
“Yeah, you’d be surprised. Not to say it’s a bad thing to come out later, but like, there’s a lot of gay people around my age, and everyone’s fine with it.”  
“The fuck you mean everyone’s fine with it?! The world sucks, it’s full of homophobes, and the last I checked, that hasn’t changed! What do you mean there’s kids coming out? How are they not constantly being bullied and tortured by their parents?” _Where the hell did they find the bravery?!_  
“They still get a lot of shit, don’t get me wrong, but the world is actually cooler about it than you’d think.” Max shrugged. “That’s why it’s not a big deal to me, and probably not to any of us here. I mean, also because I’m probably gay, too.”   
“What?”   
“Don’t think about it too much, because I haven’t yet.”   
“How the hell did I not know about this network of gay children running all over the place?! I’m barely older than a teenager!” Gwen grumbled in frustration and exasperation, but also with a sense of exhilarated happiness at the revelation.   
“Anyway, considering that David is probably still sitting on the beach and shivering pathetically, maybe we should do something?”   
“Oh, fuck, right.” Gwen shakily got to her feet, grabbing David’s bed for support, and placed the bandana on the end. As they were preparing to head out and search for David, the door handle turned and it slowly opened, revealing David, who winced at the sight of both of them, his eyes red-rimmed and his face dirty and looking like shit in general.  
“Hi,” he said quietly, unsure of himself and hesitant, remaining frozen in the half-ajar doorway, eyes locked on their expressions.  
“David,” Gwen started, taking in his harrowing appearance with her fingernails in her mouth, unsure what to say or do or even think. “Um. I’m really sorry.”  
“No, I’m sorry!” David exclaimed, now fully entering the room, on the verge of tears. “I shouldn’t have made you feel bad and I shouldn’t have run off and I shouldn’t have sworn at you, Max!” David babbled, the tears spilling over his cheeks, burning at his exhausted eyes and dripping off the tip of his nose.   
“David, no.” Gwen sighed in guilt. “I’m the one who said a bunch of awful crap that isn’t true and made you upset. It should be me apologising.” David stared at her with creased eyebrows, sad eyes, and a quivering lip. Gwen took a step forward without hesitation, pulling him against her and hugging him tightly. His arms reached and wrapped around her, sobbing and sniffling and choking on his words. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”  
“Neither did you.” David whispered. Gwen nodded into his shoulder, pulling her arms tighter against him. “I don’t really know what’s happening with you, but like, for the record, it’s okay to be gay. Everything I said wasn’t true, okay? I was just angry with myself. Not anyone else.”  
“I know.” David sucked in a shuddering breath. “I think I’m gay, Gwen.”  
“That’s totally cool, we can figure it out together, okay? I need you to open up to me next time, you don’t need to run away.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“No, don’t apologise, it’s fine-- just know that I’m here for you.”  
“Okay.” Both of the counselors felt something warm wrap around their legs for a brief second, and they looked down to see Max quickly pulling away from both of them, looking up at them unexpressively, aside from the slight glimmer of pride in his eyes.  
“Just since we’re having some kind of hugfest. Don’t read too much into it.” Gwen grinned down at him, and before he could do anything, she picked him up in her arms and squeezed him. Max began to protest, but David joined in on the hug, and Max gave up from trying to stop the physical contact. It was kind of nice, actually.


	12. Gay Time

“Alright, what do you think of this guy?” Gwen asked, holding up one of her fashion magazines for David to see, who was stretched along his bed with his chin in his hands and his legs kicking at the air. David felt a bit of heat rise to his face.  
“Pretty,” he commented dreamily, resisting the urge to cup his hand over his mouth.  
“What about him?”  
“Oooh! I like him!”  
“And… him?”  
“Ahh!” David rolled onto his back, looking up at the magazine with starry eyes. “Wow, he’s really cute! How did I not see this before!”  
“David, you’re too precious.” Gwen put the magazine down. “At least now we know for sure, right?”  
“Yeah. It feels… It feels like things make sense, Gwen.”  
“I understand that feeling.” They were quiet for a few moments.  
“I never had a father, Gwen.” David said absentmindedly, and Gwen turned to him, shocked that he’d actually told her about it, knowing but not quite that he probably had some kind of issues with his father. Him actually telling her was entirely unexpected. “I’ve always been torn up about it. My mother always thought I was too feminine. One time she caught me playing with a pink bear and told me that she didn’t want me to turn out ‘like my father’. That’s actually the reason I was sent here, as a kid. To turn me into a ‘man’.”  
“Fuck, David… That’s so shitty.”  
“I’ve been hearing… that _word_ all my life, you know… the homophobic one… and it made me afraid to even think I was possibly gay. It kind of haunts me.”  
“It’s a nasty word,” Gwen agreed. “But if you were sent here for that reason, what made you like the place?” David smiled dreamily, the ghost of ‘Jasper’ on his lips, and he glanced to her, reassured by the sincere expression on his face. He was ready to talk about it.  
“Jasper.”  
Gwen’s heart instantly started thudding faster, recognising the name from David’s bandana, caught off guard about the fact that she was actually going to hear about this mysterious guy. Gwen nodded for him to continue.  
“He was a kid, like me. I hated him _so much_ , because he was really good at everything and always happy and everybody loved him. I, on the other hand, was a total troublemaker as a kid. I know, it doesn’t seem like it, but I was a nightmare around camp. One day, though, everything changed. Jasper and I were doing an activity together after I complained about him winning an award, even though he totally deserved it.” David chuckled to himself. “We went into the forest together with no technology, the task being to retrieve a stick and bring it back to camp without getting lost. Safe to say, we got lost. Cameron Campbell and I spent forever looking for him, and we ended up finding him, and saving him from some bears that were about to eat him. I came back with him and was given the award, and the sense of accomplishment, as well as all the happy faces staring up at me, made me realise how much Camp Campbell was like a family to me, and that Jasper was the first best friend I ever had, too.”  
“What happened to Jasper?”  
“He…” David paused, furrowing his brow in thought. This was something he couldn’t possibly answer, because he actually had no clue. It was as though one day he was there, and the next he was gone, but without anybody really mentioning it, and David didn’t remember ever actually being upset about it. It was as though Jasper had kind of phased out of his memory on his own. “I don’t actually know. One moment he was there, the next he wasn’t.”  
“Did he… get into any trouble, while he was lost?” Gwen asked, swallowing the lump in her throat. It wasn’t something she did often, but the little psych major voice in her head was prompting her to pry.  
“A few times. We almost lost him over a cliff, and then he had a pretty nasty fall after, and then the bears, of course. Why?”  
“Oh, nothing. It just sucks that he disappeared like that, and you don’t remember him leaving, and you still wear his shirt around your neck-”  
“How did you know about that?” David asked, a surprised expression etched on his face.  
“Uh. I accidentally unfolded it when you weren’t wearing it and I saw the nametag.”  
“Right,” David exhaled. “I think… I think he was my first... crush? Or something. I mean, I’ve never been able to stop thinking about him.”  
“Or something," Gwen mumbled, but David didn’t seem to be listening. She knew it was time to let go of this Jasper business, because there was obviously something going on there she didn’t want to touch with a ten foot pole, especially because David had only _just_ gone through this journey of self-discovery. Suggesting that Jasper had possibly died, and that David had repressed it, would probably break the poor man more than he already was. The thought still hurt her deeply, the idea that David had watched a friend die at such a young age, and she instinctively put her arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. David leaned into her again, and Gwen had an idea in the back of her mind, that perhaps she should try and get David a boyfriend. However, there were no men (or women!) that would fit their criteria within at least a five mile radius, so Gwen was entirely stumped. If only there was an easy way to date people. 

A few days later, Gwen snatched David’s phone off of him.  
“David, you have a fucking Grindr?!”  
“Max recommended it to me!”  
“I’m deleting it right the _fuck_ now, and then I’m gonna whip that kid’s ass!”


	13. Max Needs Help

David was plucking at his guitar and humming to himself, fingers dancing along the strings with more confidence than ever before, happy and contented and more confident in his playing. Gwen listened from her spot on her bed, half-focused on the book she was reading, the other half still obsessed with the pitches and tones resonating from the instrument. The door opened, and David halted his strumming as Max entered with a dejected expression.  
“Max, is something wrong?” David asked as Max clambered onto his bed and sitting with his legs crossed. Gwen stood up and joined them on the bed, sitting next to Max with a concerned expression.  
“I just realised that camp is gonna be over in a few weeks, and that means I have to go home to my parents.”  
“Ah, right.” Gwen said, the first one to speak, and cast a desperate yet knowing look at David. “Max, we know your parents are neglectful, and we were waiting for the right time to bring it up, but we’re both concerned. Do you… have any idea what you might want to do about this? I mean, if you wanted us to, we could file a police report.” Max chewed his lip, chin in his hands as he gazed across the room.  
“I just want to get out of there,” he whispered. David and Gwen had an entire conversation with their eyes, but before they could say anything, Max spoke. “I’d be happier in a fucking orphanage, honestly.”  
“Max…” As soon as the thought hit David’s mind, he couldn’t stop himself from suggesting it, despite the fact that he was 99% sure that Max was going to laugh in his face and storm out of the room. “Perhaps… if we can contact the police and have your parent’s custody taken away, I could become your legal guardian?  
“What?!” Both Gwen and Max exclaimed at the same time, looking at David as though he’d just dropped the C word and then twisted both of his nipples.  
“I’m sure I can find the money, and Max can live with me in my little cabin and we’ll always be able to go camping and it’s only a five minute drive from town and there’s a nearby school which is really nice and it’ll be great!”  
“David, holy fuck, at least give this some thought-”  
“I’d fucking love to.” Max said, eyes full of some incomprehensible emotion, and he began to nod intensely, tears threatening to spill down his face. “God, please, I don’t give a shit anymore David, I’d love to live with you, just-- please…” Gwen’s jaw had dropped even further than before, looking between David and Max, dropping to the floor when Max lunged forward and hugged David, and David wrapped Max up in his arms, the biggest and most sincere smile on his face that Gwen had ever seen.  
“We’ll contact the police, or a lawyer, or something tomorrow. We’ll figure this out Max, I promise. You don’t have to deal with them anymore. You’re safe now.” 

Max’s parents hadn’t given a shit.  
They didn’t fight or argue or attempt to defend themselves. They simply said, ‘sure, take the little fucker’, and hung up the phone. David’s blood boiled, but at least it was easier than they’d expected it to be, and David had been able to fill out the appropriate paperwork and had Max in his custody by the end of camp. On the last day of camp, and everyone was saying their tearful goodbyes, Gwen took David aside and hugged him for at least a solid minute.  
“I’m going to miss you and Max so fucking much, okay?”  
“Gwen, it’s only until next summer, it’s okay. We’ll keep in touch, you can come and visit Max!”  
“Where do you even live?” Gwen sighed.  
“Only a few miles away!”  
“Wait, really? I thought you would’ve been further. I’m not far from here, either.” David grinned widely and gave her his address, to which her eyes got wider and wider until she was gripping his shoulders with excitement and shaking him back and forth.  
“David! I live in the fucking town that’s a five minute drive away!  
“Gwen! We can see eachother every day! You can come sleep over! We can take Max to the zoo! We can-”  
“Let’s save all that for when we’re making plans.”  
“Right. I need to get him enrolled in school and everything, first.”  
“Which school is that?”  
“Sleepy Peak Elementary. Why?  
“Doesn’t Nikki go there?”  
“I think she does!” David and Gwen shared an incredibly gleeful expression, relieved and content and _knowing_ that they were okay. Everything was okay. 

“You see dark and I see bright  
but contrast takes us far,  
with the dark you create the night  
and I create the stars.  
I place my pink upon your blue  
we create a sunset lake,  
one which lulls and beckons you  
and soothes my endless ache.

It’s our colour blindness that separates us  
yet brings me close to you,  
our worlds so different in their colour  
with such opposing hues.”

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if i missed any italics. also sorry if this story sucks but that's a lot harder to fix u kno. thanks for reading kids
> 
> also also. this ending may feel like a cop-out, but that's because this is a character study, and i resolved everything i wanted to write about david.


End file.
